Your Guide to the Life You Love - Newsletter (Issue #2)

The Big Picture

In this choppy economy of big corporate mergers and endless outsourcing, tension over performance is a daily adventure and job turnover is rampant. Competition is cutthroat. Some companies purposefully axe employees approaching the fully vested mark.

So if the seeming worst has happened and you're either on the verge or have lost your job, what's the first step? Beating yourself up won't improve the situation, so let's focus on what you're doing right.

The first step is to see the perfection in the situation. Questions like "Why is this happening to me?" are standard victim mentality questions that will cause the situation to repeat ad nauseum until you "get it."

When we see ourselves as victims, we think only about killing the messenger. We miss the message.

Healing, Not Wailing

We need to recognize that we are co-creators of the situation in order to learn its deeper lessons, then heal them and move on. By shifting our perspective, and taking the view of the spiritual Big Picture, we begin to see that whatever occurs is meant for our growth.

Since the Higher Self called it forth, nothing bad happened; it is simply another important life lesson.

Sometimes the most painful ones are the only ones that get our attention. It's a rare occurrence when we're "Surprised by Joy" as writer C.S. Lewis mused.

Realistically, we can't play God and pretend to understand the Big Picture. We simply aren't spiritually evolved enough yet to know why our lives unfold the way they do, so asking the endless question "why?" is a waste of energy.

Simply stated, "It is what it is." Why fight the flow?

Our task is to see that a lesson might exist and trust the process of releasing the energy (anger, fear, sadness, shame) around it, and then letting the spiritual wisdom flow. Then, as Colin Tipping, author of Radical Forgiveness says, "Shift Happens!"

Goundhog Day 'Til You Get It

In regard to employment and relationships, we're often drawn to environments and people that help us relive family of origin issues. The question is, how many times will you have to repeat this lesson in your adult life?

For example, my former client Marilyn worked in an international manufacturing company whose executives were mostly ex-military. As director of communications, she was one of the few women in management, and every department constantly dumped last-minute projects (always Top Priority) on her desk.

Although a very hard worker, she was always scrambling to meet their rigid, perfectionist standards and handle the sheer volume of work. The numerous last minute miracles she pulled rarely seemed to be quite good enough.

Turns out she'd grown up among four brothers. Her very rigid father had been career military, a man for whom she was never able to perform quite up to standard. When I pointed out to her that she'd recreated her challenging childhood situation at her job, she was astounded!

Eventually she realized she didn't have to kill herself working for disapproving coworkers who would never think she was enough. Instead, she got new training and is far happier in her new position--and has time to enjoy her own family as well.

Gandhi said, "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong."

She got the lesson, healed the situation through awareness, forgiveness and acceptance, and moved on to a better life. You can do it too.

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Cool Mind Candy

Try some—it has that hopeful flavor!

The Cracked Pot

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot always arrived half full.

For two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house."

The old woman smiled. "Did you notice that flowers bloom on one side of the path, but not the other? That's because I've always known about your flaw, so I planted seeds on the side where you'd be dripping, and every day while we walk back, you water them.

"For two years I've been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, this beauty would not grace my house."

If you find this Ezine refreshing, please pass it along to your friends and colleagues. Much appreciated!

Your Guide to the Life You Love™ Patrice Dickey is a coach, motivational speaker and author of the internationally award-winning book Back to the Garden: Getting from Shadow to Joy. Learn more at www.artofchange.org. If you'd like to submit some Cool Mind Candy for consideration, please email me at pdcom@mindspring.com

Thanks!

PERMISSION TO REPRINT: You may reprint any items from "Your Guide to the Life You Love(TM)" in your print or electronic newsletter. But please include the following paragraph:

Reprinted from "Your Guide to the Life You Love(TM)" a complimentary Ezine featuring tools & tips, perspective shifts to help enrich your life, expand your horizons and experience Your Personal Definition of success--always including cool mind candy with that hopeful flavor. To subscribe, please visit www.artofchange.org and, if you like, download the Ebook "101 Simple Ways to Kick the Depression Habit and Get Happier Without Prozac."

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Patrice Dickey
a.k.a. Your Guide to the Life You Love™
6 Exeter Road, in the Enchanted Forest of
Avondale Estates, GA 30002, USA

Phone: 404-294-9333
Email: pdcom@mindspring.com