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Hearts, Flowers and the Middle GroundIf you just barely made it through another Valentine's Day, this message may be for you. For my own gesture of self-love, I threw a small dinner party, and each of us read our favorite love poem. Another friend booked herself a massage. Others did animal rescue. Outreach and finding ways to nurture others gives the soul what it craves. The Relationship ConundrumMost of the people in my Evening at Emory class, 'Get the Life You Love,' are single women—always looking to fix themselves—so, naturally, we get onto the topic of men, and whether one exists out there for them. A very lovely, sweet and attractive nurse said she just didn't know whether a relationship would ever happen for her. I suggested she open her eyes and look around. Couples are everywhere; it's all a matter of what people are willing to compromise in order to be in a partnership. Are we willing to sacrifice our freedom? Our control issues? Our vulnerability? Our peace of mind? The myth that one person can be everything, like the love songs tell us? Always having everything our own way? It's not about looks. It's about personal choices, like everything in life. An Artistic HeartIn class I shared the story of my cousin Deana, one of my "sheroes" who has been willing to pursue her vision throughout her lifetime. As a young woman in her early thirties, divorced with three little children, she decided to do something radical to escape the bleak New Jersey winters: She applied to teach English in Jamaica. She and the kids trekked down there and lived a totally different life for a dynamic year. Later, living in Boulder and still teaching, she set her sights on creating a stained glass art business (www.SelenaGlassandMetal.com). In order to support her children, she worked as a commercial cleaner at night and launched the glass business during the day. Eventually she married the co-creator of the stunning glass and metal art pieces they produce, a lovely man with a braid all the way down his back, sixteen years younger than she is. Now they're living in paradise—an artists' colony in Burnsville, western North Carolina, near Asheville. They are beautifully compatible. Divinity Trumps DeservabilityThe nurse revealed why she just didn't know whether love could ever happen for her—a very strained relationship with her father, "a nasty old alcoholic" as she described him.However as class continued over the weeks, her perspective on him began slowly to shift. One weekend she took the initiative and drove 400 miles on a Sunday just to have lunch with him and his wife. She'd planned it so she wouldn't have much time with him; the mere thought of spending more than fifteen minutes alone with him made her flesh crawl. Divinity had a hand in things though, and she forgot about the change in time zones between Georgia and Alabama. When she arrived, his wife was still at church, so she and her father had a full hour and a half alone together. Looking around their sparsely furnished home she noticed that the sole decorative items were photos of herself and her sister throughout the years. Suddenly she recognized an unconditional love from him that she believed had never existed. Vulnerability is KeyOn a soul level, she finally began to see herself as acceptable, as lovable—as someone who deserved a relationship and deserved to be happy! While she expressed this miracle of self-acceptance, my entire body resonated with chills.After years of hard, stony separation, she began to realize that neither her father's humanity nor her own vulnerability would annihilate her. "Seeing the way his wife loved him helped me see him with a whole new set of eyes," she said. Those new eyes also permitted her to see herself as worthy of love too. Within a matter of a year after that she was in a deeply committed relationship. |
Upcoming Speaking EngagementsLive, free teleseminar Thursday 2/22/07, 8:30pm EST "The Secret of Creating Your Success Vision for Life" Register online at www.ElifeMagazine.net Kettering Executive Network Friday 3/2/07 "How to Make Your Vision Come to Life" Gather the Women Panel on Creative Expression, Saturday 3/10/07 Celebrating International Women's Day Come and join us—$10 at the door—10am-12:30pm www.gatherthewomen.org Norcross Kiwanis, Tuesday 3/13/07 lunch at Pappadeaux "Influence Made Easy: Making Connections that Sell" Fire Up Your Group-Hire me to Speak! Here's a testimonial from my talk "Influence Made Easy: Making Connections that Sell" "Great demonstrations and speech. Best speech I've heard in awhile." T. Barbour, editor-in-chief, GeorgiaCEOMagazine.com Cool Mind CandySo much of a demonstration of love in action is simply tolerance of the other's antics (or passivity). See how this unlikely pair demonstrates forbearance. We women from Venus and men from Mars might take a lesson!Join my Celebration!The previous chapter is from my award-winning book, BACK TO THE GARDEN: Getting from Shadow to Joy, and I'm celebrating!Writer's Digest just notified me that the book was chosen as an Honorable Mention in the Inspirational category of the 14th Annual Writer's Digest Self-Published Book Awards, so I'm offering an internet special! Visit www.PatriceDickey.com and the book is yours for only $14.95 plus shipping and tax where applicable. The cover letter said, "Competition was particularly fierce this year so (the) accomplishment is truly impressive."—I'll toast that! Here's what Judge #39 said about BACK TO THE GARDEN. "This really is a delightful book, full of pithy, wise, fun, real, honest, short selections, each to the point and with a message one can carry away to ponder. Written by a woman who has obviously Been There, the book shares, directs, reflects wisdom and understanding at every possible turn—and quite painlessly. The writing is witty, accessible, easy and enjoyable to read, chatty or conversational, on universal subjects, what we will all encounter as we lead full lives. Dickey offers effective ideas, new fresh perspectives, techniques or tools to deal with these everyday problems or situations... The subject titles are fresh and catchy; and the interior design and cover are attractive. I like this book." I'm also honored to mention that the book has previously won Inspirational, Spiritual, Aging, Death&Dying, and 1st Place Nonfiction awards from the IPPYs 2006, Best Books 2006 (two categories) and Atlanta Writers Club, respectively. |
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If you find this Ezine refreshing, please pass it along to your friends and colleagues. Much appreciated! Your Guide to the Life You Love™ Patrice Dickey is a coach, motivational speaker and author of the internationally award-winning book Back to the Garden: Getting from Shadow to Joy. Learn more at www.artofchange.org. If you'd like to submit some Cool Mind Candy for consideration, please email me at pdcom@mindspring.com Thanks! 2/14/07 Copyright © Patrice Dickey 2007. All rights reserved. PERMISSION TO REPRINT: You may reprint any items from "Your Guide to the Life You Love(TM)" in your print or electronic newsletter. But please include the following paragraph: Reprinted from "Your Guide to the Life You Love(TM)" a complimentary Ezine featuring tools & tips, perspective shifts to help enrich your life, expand your horizons and experience Your Personal Definition of success—always including cool mind candy with that hopeful flavor. To subscribe, please visit www.artofchange.org and, if you like, download the Ebook "101 Simple Ways to Kick the Depression Habit and Get Happier Without Prozac." PRIVACY STATEMENT: Your Guide to the Life You Love(TM) will never distribute your address to anyone—honest! ***
Patrice Dickey
Phone: 404-294-9333 |