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Wild FiresWednesday morning I awoke to the acrid smell of smoke, sucked in through my windows by the attic fan which I enjoy so much in glorious spring in Atlanta—it draws in cool night air perfumed with magnolia, abelia, honeysuckle and all manner of sweet-smelling blooming things. But at 6:15 a.m. I realized I was inhaling some bad fumes—immediately sensing smoke from the wild fires torching south Georgia; burning up the Okefenokee swamp and environs during this latest drought. Oddly, although my nose crinkled, and although I knew I would attend my cousin's funeral that day, it was the first morning in a long time I hadn't awakened with a bad case of the whim-whams over the end-of-life issues of more than one family member. Wave My Codependent WandProbably because I knew she was no longer suffering from a years- long battle with cancer, I felt a more bearable lightness of being, a feeling of release after her surrender to the struggle. The body is so tenacious—it seduces us into believing that it is our real Self when it's really just a soul vehicle—a place where Self dwells. And sometimes the body long overstays its welcome. My challenge is that I hate seeing anyone suffer—it's a real codependent thing, where I want to fix it or change it for them; wave my magic wand and somehow eliminate the pain—even though that is the path their soul chose a long time ago and it's not my problem—or my privilege—to "make things better" for them. This is a lesson I've re-learned about a thousand times. How many instant replays do I need, making myself miserable and destroying my serenity by refusing to accept things I can't change? Maybe some day I'll get it. Calm in the Mind; Calm in the Eyes; Face is SoftOn the drive to the church I noticed that my brow was furrowed and realized I was probably worsening my mood, simply with the expression on my face. Becoming aware of what we are doing to ourselves is key! As a yoga teacher I often remind students while we're holding the toughest poses to retain the "Calm in the mind; calm in the eyes," and to keep the face soft. You never saw a frowning Buddha, right? Recent studies at Stanford and UC San Francisco demonstrate that feedback between the facial muscles and the brain can exacerbate moods, either positive or negative. If you're wondering, "Which came first, the bad mood or the frown?" it might surprise you to note that the frown itself can bring you down. And vice versa, a smile, even a fake one, can help lift your mood. The smile muscles trigger endorphins, or may even alter the temperature of blood flow in the brain. That's why we don't see a lot of "hotheads" with big silly grins on their faces. Grin Like A ChimpIn my complimentary Ebook 101 Simple Ways to Kick the Depression Habit & Get Happier Without Prozac, #21 says "Let a little smile come to your lips—even if you don't feel like smiling, when the smile muscles in your face are employed, something shifts in your physiology and you actually do begin to feel better. If the idea of smiling is more than you can handle, grimace like a chimpanzee—but don't wrinkle your forehead. The same muscles engage and the effect is similar. Shriek like a chimp for added benefit!" Can you just see me in the funeral procession, the motorcycle cop out front with his siren blowing through red lights, as I drove along grinning like a chimp? As I told one of my coaching clients who was in a nameless, weird funk recently, life consists of peaks and valleys, and we just have to recognize that. If the image of our life projected straight out with no variation, it'd mean we were flatliners—dead. But when we're in the valleys, it's useful to know some of the numerous simple ways to smooth our own paths—like keeping a calm mind, a soft face, and a little grin.
LinksOUR EMAIL LIST SERVICE: Many people ask me how I manage this email list. I use a great service called AWeber. Find out more about them at www.aweber.com ATTRACT MORE CLIENTS: If you want to attract more clients more consistently I highly recommend the Action Plan Marketing web site. It includes a lot of free information and great products that help you be a better marketer, including a great Marketing Start-up Kit. http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=496309 EARN A LIVING WRITING: The Well Fed Writer (& Self-Publisher) offers lots of great tips on how you can convert your passion for the word into actual dollars—he managed to do it and tells you how! http://www.wellfedwriter.com/cmd.php?af=507664 |
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Cool Mind CandyElifeMagazine.net asked about my Ebook, 101 Simple Ways to Kick the Depression Habit & Get Happier Without Prozac. Here's the link to the four minute video interview. Join My Celebration!Writer's Digest recently notified me that my book BACK TO THE GARDEN: Getting from Shadow to Joy was chosen as an Honorable Mention in the Inspirational category of the 14th Annual Writer's Digest Self-Published Book Awards, so I'm offering an internet special! Visit www.PatriceDickey.com and the book is yours for only $14.95 plus shipping and tax where applicable. The cover letter said, "Competition was particularly fierce this year so (the) accomplishment is truly impressive."—I'll toast that! Here's what Judge #39 said about BACK TO THE GARDEN. "This really is a delightful book, full of pithy, wise, fun, real, honest, short selections, each to the point and with a message one can carry away to ponder. Written by a woman who has obviously Been There, the book shares, directs, reflects wisdom and understanding at every possible turn—and quite painlessly. The writing is witty, accessible, easy and enjoyable to read, chatty or conversational, on universal subjects, what we will all encounter as we lead full lives. Dickey offers effective ideas, new fresh perspectives, techniques or tools to deal with these everyday problems or situations... The subject titles are fresh and catchy; and the interior design and cover are attractive. I like this book." I'm also honored to mention that the book has previously won Inspirational, Spiritual, Aging, Death&Dying, and 1st Place Nonfiction awards from the IPPYs 2006, Best Books 2006 (two categories) and Atlanta Writers Club, respectively. |
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If you find this Ezine refreshing, please pass it along to your friends and colleagues. Much appreciated! Your Guide to the Life You Love™ Patrice Dickey is a coach, motivational speaker and author of the internationally award-winning book Back to the Garden: Getting from Shadow to Joy. Learn more at www.artofchange.org. If you'd like to submit some Cool Mind Candy for consideration, please email me at pdcom@mindspring.com Thanks! 5/18/07 Copyright © Patrice Dickey 2007. All rights reserved. PERMISSION TO REPRINT: You may reprint any items from "Your Guide to the Life You Love(TM)" in your print or electronic newsletter. But please include the following paragraph: Reprinted from "Your Guide to the Life You Love(TM)" a complimentary Ezine featuring tools & tips, perspective shifts to help enrich your life, expand your horizons and experience Your Personal Definition of success—always including cool mind candy with that hopeful flavor. To subscribe, please visit www.artofchange.org and, if you like, download the Ebook "101 Simple Ways to Kick the Depression Habit and Get Happier Without Prozac." PRIVACY STATEMENT: Your Guide to the Life You Love(TM) will never distribute your address to anyone—honest! ***
Patrice Dickey
Phone: 404-294-9333 |